Cover of Field Manual No. 2: The Stranger in the House

Field Manual No. 2

The Stranger in the House

Seven settings to protect kids from online strangers, groomers, and dangerous contact.

Inside the Manual

Seven settings, one sentence, and a calm response

The Stranger in the House is a household guide for reducing online exposure and making it easier for a child to tell an adult when something goes wrong. Its first move is relational: say, “If anything ever goes wrong online, you come to me. I will not be angry. And I will not take your phone.”

The manual then walks through seven settings, the seven tells that can be visible from across a room, a conversation that does not feel like an interrogation, and an ordered response if a suspicious contact or image is found.

The manual directs families to report suspected exploitation to the NCMEC CyberTipline, use Take It Down for images of a minor, contact local law enforcement, and seek clinical help if a child is not sleeping, eating, seeing friends, or acting like themselves.

The core approach

Lower exposure without closing the door to disclosure

Set the Front Door

Make accounts private, turn off location, review friends together, limit messaging to approved contacts, turn off stranger comments, set game chat to friends only, and inspect photographs for identifying details in the background.

See the Tells

Watch for a screen that flips, unexplained gifts or game currency, new vocabulary, unfamiliar apps, a friend nobody has met, mood and clock changes, or the feeling that something is off.

Stay on the Child's Side

Do not get angry, delete evidence, or confront the account. Screenshot and save, report in order, and tell the child clearly that they are not in trouble and this is not their fault.

The seven settings and response plan

What You'll Find Inside

  • Private accounts and location off: make public discovery harder and remove location data where it is not needed.
  • Friends-list review: clean contacts together and question names the child has never met in person.
  • Messaging and game controls: approved contacts only, stranger contact off, and game chat limited to friends.
  • Photo checks: look for school names, street signs, house numbers, buses, and routines that can build a map.
  • Kitchen charging: move the charger out of the bedroom and use built-in parental controls for a twenty-minute household check.
  • Conversation method: ask sideways, side by side, without making the child defend a friendship.
  • Evidence and reports: save messages and profiles, avoid tipping off the account, report to CyberTipline, use Take It Down when relevant, call local law enforcement, and do not pay extortion demands.

Use it as a printable field guide

Work the settings together, then keep the numbers on paper

Print the manual and complete the seven settings with the child rather than treating them as an inspection. Put the one-sentence promise somewhere it can be remembered, move the charger, and keep the CyberTipline, Take It Down, 988, and local-law-enforcement contacts available.

Use the seven tells as observations, not accusations. If something is found, follow the manual's order and stay with the child after the first report. The guide is designed to help an adult remain the safe person a child can come to.

Source text

Full Manual Text

The text below is transcribed from the original PDF for this manual. Page labels, headings, lists, and references are retained as extracted from the source.

FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 1
 
JOHNNY ACTION FIGHTS BACK • WE ARE DATA™
THE STRANGER IN THE HOUSE
SEVEN SETTINGS. DO THEM TONIGHT. THEN POST THIS
ON THE REFRIGERATOR.
HE IS NOT AT THE DOOR. HE CAME IN THROUGH A
SCREEN THE SIZE OF YOUR HAND.
HE IS NOT LOOKING FOR YOUR CHILD SPECIFICALLY.
HE WILL CONTACT TWO HUNDRED CHILDREN THIS
MONTH. HE NEEDS ONE.
A PUBLIC PROFILE IS WHAT PUTS A CHILD IN THAT
LAKE. THIS PAGE TAKES HER OUT OF IT.
THE ONE SENTENCE — SAY IT TODAY
IF ANYTHING EVER GOES WRONG ONLINE, YOU COME
TO ME. I WILL NOT BE ANGRY. AND I WILL NOT TAKE
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 2
 YOUR PHONE.
SAY IT WHILE NOTHING IS WRONG. THAT SENTENCE IS
THE DOOR SHE WILL COME THROUGH LATER. IF YOU
HAVE NOT BUILT IT, THERE IS NOT ONE.
EVERY CHILD BELIEVES TELLING AN ADULT MEANS
LOSING THE PHONE — AND LOSING THE PHONE
MEANS LOSING EVERY FRIEND SHE HAS, ALL AT ONCE.
HE IS COUNTING ON THAT. TAKE IT OFF THE SCALE.
PROMISE MADE — DATE:
1 MAKE EVERY ACCOUNT PRIVATE
WORTH MORE THAN EVERYTHING ELSE COMBINED.
PRIVATE MEANS PEOPLE SHE APPROVED CAN SEE IT.
PUBLIC MEANS STRANGERS CAN FIND HER.
ACCOUNTS SET TO PRIVATE:
2 TURN OFF LOCATION
EVERY APP THAT DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW WHERE
SHE IS SHOULD NOT KNOW WHERE SHE IS. MOST OF
THEM DO BY DEFAULT.
LOCATION OFF:
3 CLEAN THE FRIENDS LIST — TOGETHER
NOT AS AN INSPECTION. AS A HOUSECLEANING.
ANYBODY SHE HAS NEVER MET IN PERSON, WITH HER
ACTUAL EYES — QUESTION MARK NEXT TO THE NAME.
FRIENDS LIST REVIEWED:
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 3
 
JOHNNY ACTION FIGHTS BACK • WE ARE DATA™
THE STRANGER IN THE HOUSE
CONTINUED — SETTINGS 4 THROUGH 7, PLUS THE ONE
THAT IS NOT A SETTING.
4 ONLY APPROVED CONTACTS CAN MESSAGE HER
MOST PLATFORMS LET YOU SET THIS. THAT IS THE
FRONT DOOR LOCK.
MESSAGING LOCKED DOWN:
5 TURN OFF COMMENTS AND MESSAGES FROM
STRANGERS
ON ANYTHING PUBLIC SHE HAS LEFT.
STRANGER CONTACT OFF:
6 THE GAMES
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 4
 IF THERE IS A CHAT IN IT — AND THERE IS A CHAT IN IT
— IT IS SOCIAL MEDIA WITH A CONTROLLER. GO INTO
THE GAME SETTINGS AND TURN CHAT DOWN TO
FRIENDS ONLY. AND CHECK THE HEADSET. A LOT OF
THIS HAPPENS BY VOICE, WHERE NOTHING IS WRITTEN
DOWN FOR ANYBODY TO FIND LATER.
GAME CHAT — FRIENDS ONLY:
7 CHECK PHOTOGRAPHS BEFORE THEY GO UP
NOT FOR WHAT SHE IS DOING. FOR WHAT IS BEHIND
HER. THE SCHOOL NAME ON THE SHIRT. THE STREET
SIGN. THE HOUSE NUMBER. THE BUS. HE BUILDS A
MAP OUT OF THE BACKGROUND.
THE ONE THAT IS NOT A SETTING — AND MAY BE THE
BEST ONE
THE DEVICE CHARGES IN THE KITCHEN OVERNIGHT.
NOT IN THE BEDROOM.
ALMOST EVERYTHING BAD HAPPENS BETWEEN
ELEVEN AT NIGHT AND FOUR IN THE MORNING, TO A
TIRED CHILD, ALONE, WITH NO ADULT AWAKE IN THE
HOUSE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WIN AN ARGUMENT
ABOUT THE INTERNET TO WIN THAT ONE. YOU JUST
HAVE TO MOVE A CHARGER.
CHARGER MOVED TO THE KITCHEN:
AND OPEN THE PARENTAL CONTROLS THAT ARE
ALREADY BUILT INTO EVERY PHONE MADE TODAY.
TWENTY MINUTES. NOT TO SPY — TO KNOW.
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 5
 
JOHNNY ACTION FIGHTS BACK • WE ARE DATA™
THE SEVEN TELLS
THINGS YOU CAN SEE FROM ACROSS A ROOM.
1. THE SCREEN FLIPS.
EVERY TIME YOU WALK IN, THE PHONE GOES FACE
DOWN OR THE APP SWITCHES. CHILDREN WANT
PRIVACY AND THAT IS HEALTHY. WHAT YOU ARE
WATCHING FOR IS A REFLEX. IT IS FAST. IT HAPPENS
EVERY SINGLE TIME. AND IT IS NEW.
2. GIFTS THAT ARE NOT PACKAGES.
GAME CURRENCY. A GIFT CARD. CREDITS FOR
SOMETHING. MONEY THAT SHOWS UP ON A DEVICE
WITH NO EXPLANATION IS SOMEBODY BUYING
SOMETHING. AND IT IS NOT THE GAME.
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 6
 3. NEW VOCABULARY.
WORDS AND JOKES FROM SOMEWHERE YOU CANNOT
IDENTIFY. SUDDENLY SHE HAS OPINIONS THAT ARE
NOT HERS.
4. NEW APPS YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF.
ESPECIALLY ANYTHING WHERE THE MESSAGES
DISAPPEAR, OR ANYTHING WITH A PASSCODE ON THE
APP ITSELF. WATCH FOR AN APP HIDING INSIDE
ANOTHER APP. IF YOUR TWELVE YEAR OLD HAS TWO
CALCULATORS, THAT IS NOT A MATH PROBLEM.
5. A FRIEND NOBODY HAS MET.
SHE MENTIONS SOMEBODY A LOT AND YOU SLOWLY
REALIZE NOBODY HAS EVER MET THIS PERSON. THAT
IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY BAD. IT IS A THING TO KNOW
ABOUT — NOT A THING TO FIND OUT ABOUT LATER.
6. MOOD AND CLOCK.
WITHDRAWN AFTER BEING ON THE PHONE. ANXIOUS
WHEN IT BUZZES. SLEEPING WITH IT. UP AT THREE IN
THE MORNING WITH IT — BECAUSE HE IS ON A
DIFFERENT CLOCK, AND SOMETIMES A DIFFERENT
CONTINENT.
7. SOMETHING IS OFF AND YOU CANNOT NAME IT.
TRUST THAT. THE ONES WHO GET HURT ARE THE
ONES WHO TALK THEMSELVES OUT OF IT. YOU ARE
NOT BEING PARANOID. YOU ARE BEING THE ADULT.
THREE MORE THAT ARE NOT ON ANYBODY’S LIST
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 7
 HE MAY NOT PRESENT AS A HE. THE ACCOUNT MAY
LOOK LIKE A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WITH
PHOTOGRAPHS AND FRIENDS AND A WHOLE LIFE ON
THE PAGE. NONE OF IT HAS TO BE REAL. DO NOT
SCREEN FOR MEN. SCREEN FOR STRANGERS.
THE SUDDEN OPINION ABOUT YOU. LISTEN FOR
LANGUAGE THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE HER.
PHRASING THAT CAME FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE.
PART OF HIS JOB IS PUTTING DISTANCE BETWEEN
THAT CHILD AND EVERY ADULT WHO COULD STOP
HIM.
TWO ACCOUNTS. THE CLEAN ONE THE FAMILY
FOLLOWS, AND THE REAL ONE. USUALLY ORDINARY
TEENAGE BUSINESS — BUT ASK DIRECTLY AND
WITHOUT DRAMA. DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER ONE?
ONE HONEST WARNING
MOST CHILDREN WHO ARE HURT ARE NOT HURT BY A
STRANGER ON THE INTERNET. THEY ARE HURT BY
SOMEBODY THE FAMILY ALREADY KNOWS AND
TRUSTS. THESE SIGNS WORK FOR BOTH. IF THE
PHONE TURNS OUT TO BE INNOCENT — DO NOT STOP
LOOKING.
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 8
 
JOHNNY ACTION FIGHTS BACK • WE ARE DATA™
THE CONVERSATION — AND IF YOU FIND SOMETHING
THE NEXT SIXTY SECONDS DECIDE HOW ALL OF THIS
GOES.
HOW TO OPEN IT
DO NOT INTERROGATE. THE SECOND A CHILD FEELS
INVESTIGATED, THE DOOR SHUTS AND IT DOES NOT
OPEN AGAIN.
COME IN SIDEWAYS: I HEARD SOMETHING ON THE
RADIO ABOUT PEOPLE PRETENDING TO BE KIDS
ONLINE. HAS ANYBODY WEIRD EVER MESSAGED YOU?
ASK IT SIDE BY SIDE, NOT FACE TO FACE. IN A CAR.
DOING DISHES. WALKING SOMEWHERE. CHILDREN
TELL YOU HARD THINGS WHEN NOBODY HAS TO MAKE
EYE CONTACT.
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 9
 NEVER MAKE HER DEFEND THE FRIENDSHIP. THE
INSTANT YOU SAY THAT PERSON IS DANGEROUS, SHE
HAS TO PICK A SIDE — AND HE HAS BEEN BUILDING
GOODWILL FOR SIX MONTHS. ASK ABOUT HIM
INSTEAD. WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT? WHAT IS HE
LIKE? HOW OLD IS HE?
IF YOU FIND SOMETHING — DO THIS, IN THIS ORDER
1. DO NOT GET ANGRY AT THE CHILD. SHE DID NOT DO
THIS. IT WAS DONE TO HER. SAY THE WORDS OUT
LOUD: I AM NOT ANGRY AT YOU. I AM ANGRY AT HIM.
2. DO NOT DELETE ANYTHING. SCREENSHOT IT. SAVE
IT. THAT IS EVIDENCE.
3. DO NOT CONFRONT THE ACCOUNT. DO NOT
MESSAGE HIM. DO NOT TIP HIM OFF. HE WILL VANISH
AND TAKE EVERYTHING WITH HIM.
4. REPORT IT TO THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR MISSING
AND EXPLOITED CHILDREN — CYBERTIPLINE.ORG OR
1-800-843-5678. THEY WILL WALK YOU THROUGH IT.
5. ASK FOR TAKE IT DOWN BY NAME —
TAKEITDOWN.NCMEC.ORG. FREE SERVICE THAT
HELPS GET IMAGES OF A MINOR OFF PLATFORMS.
6. CALL YOUR LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT. THIS IS
EXACTLY THE CALL THEY WANT TO GET.
7. IF IT IS THE MONEY VERSION — DO NOT PAY. PAYING
HAS NEVER ONCE ENDED IT. IT MARKS THE CHILD AS
SOMEBODY WHO PAYS AND STARTS THE SECOND
ROUND. BLOCK. SAVE EVERYTHING. REPORT. AND
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 10
 STAY WITH THE CHILD.
THEN SAY THIS. OUT LOUD.
YOU ARE NOT IN TROUBLE. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
WE ARE GOING TO FIX THIS TOGETHER.
AND THEN STAY. DO NOT SAY THOSE THREE
SENTENCES AND WALK OUT OF THE ROOM SATISFIED.
SHE HAS BEEN CARRYING IT ALONE FOR WEEKS AND
SHE IS WATCHING YOUR FACE TO SEE IF YOU MEANT
IT. SIT DOWN. LET IT BE QUIET FOR A WHILE.
OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, KEEP AN EYE ON HER —
NOT ON THE PHONE. ON HER. IF SHE IS NOT SLEEPING,
NOT EATING, NOT SEEING FRIENDS, NOT HERSELF —
GET HER TO SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE
DOING. THE DOCTOR. THE SCHOOL COUNSELOR. A
REAL ONE.
KEEP THESE NUMBERS ON PAPER
NCMEC CYBERTIPLINE — 1-800-843-5678 —
CYBERTIPLINE.ORG
TAKE IT DOWN (IMAGE REMOVAL) —
TAKEITDOWN.NCMEC.ORG
988 SUICIDE & CRISIS LIFELINE — CALL OR TEXT 988
LOCAL POLICE OR SHERIFF —
YOUR STANDING ORDER — SIX WORDS
CAN YOU CERTIFY WHAT YOU ARE HOLDING?
FIVE MINUTES AND ONE PROMISE. THAT IS THE WHOLE
JOB. HIS ENTIRE OPERATION RESTS ON ONE LIE HE
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FIELD MANUAL NO. 2 • FREE AT JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM • SATURDAYS 10AM — TRUE OLDIES CHANNEL •
 PAGE 11
 PLANTS IN A CHILD’S HEAD — THAT YOU WOULD BE
DISGUSTED, AND THAT SHE WOULD BE ALONE. TAKE
IT AWAY FROM HIM. TODAY.
WE ARE DATA. KEEP THE SIGNAL CLEAN.
FALL IN — JOHNNYACTIONARMY.COM — FREE,
ALWAYS
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